Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate all girls vehemently.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
