She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
