used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
