I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I cockslap morals
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
