cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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