you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
