My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
