Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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