what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
