they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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