nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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