i would punch a child for taco bell
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize