6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
