I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
They took my balls.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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