that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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