I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
