He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
