He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
