Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
