I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
