Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You have to summon your inner elephant
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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