I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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