AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
