I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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