We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
