He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
