Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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