you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
