I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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