I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
