Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
