The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
