I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
