Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ok first of all what the fuck
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
