i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
