There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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