I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
