from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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