WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
