Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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