you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
