Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
