so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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