At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
