they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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