thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
