He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just pee around me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
