meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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