I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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