he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
