How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
