Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
