I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
