please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
