How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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