She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
