we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
high people should be assigned attendants
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
